<< Warning>> This is the previous edition of the novel, for more, check auxiliary chapter.
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Having a had normal and simple life since his birth, Long He couldn't imagine that such a thing would happen to him.
While he was drowning, a glowing bead merged with his body, raising him to Godhood. He opened his eyes to a foreign world; the planet’s flat land stretches for mile on end of miles. No trees, plants, or anything could be seen popping up on the ground.
Where was he?
What has happened to him?
Is he alive? Is he dead?
He didn't know a single answer to these questions. Yet, he didn't give up as he thought of a solution to his problem; this is his cunning nature, after all.
Ding.
[Planet System Activated.]
That was the voice that introduced him to the Milky-way universe, where millions of gods and demigods resided.
However, things aren't peaceful as he thought before. Blood will be spilled. Bodies will be pierced. Wars are to be fought...
Will he survive in this universe?
Will he and his allies emerge victorious in the wars?
Come and read the story of the god of Aquahelios, Long He, the Waterflame!
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Your wordings are real good actually. Just needs a bit of fixer uppers here and there. Download grammarly on firefox, that's what I use, It's a lifesaver. But don't trust everything it says. Do more dialogues that are more dynamic, not sure how to say. But I feel that it needs a soothe of casual but more realistic in terms of wordings. Tell about your surroundings more often. Describe it in detail, but not too much, else the chaps get a little stretched, and peeps get mad sometimes. Stretch the story, but softly if possible. Take time for the MC to do something else that's irrelevant to the story, but still relevant to an extent. I'm not saying that you should make a filler, just stretch the story a bit. Don't run, it's dangerous, you can trip, just walk. Last but not the least, just a warning. Be intensely careful at what you're going to put at the beginning. The very foundations of your novel, is your starting chapters. Everything that I just mentioned were the faults I made at the beginning that even to this day, I still have a hard time fixing it. Why? Because they're so darn instilled into the story and have more than 80k words. Well, that's it from me. Good luck with your novel man XD
This story was created with pretty interesting concept, yet few aspect could be seen immediately that they're lackluster. It wasn't about the system or something that has to do with the power and anything along those line, the problem here was the fact that the character wasn't really get the spotlight they deserves. It was already on chapter five, and yes, focusing on the plot and world building is important. Sometimes you need to sacrifice which one need to be become more mundane than the other aspect, that's what happen on this story. The world building was pretty solid, I could even give it full star for that. But the development was hath to be paced down a bit. It was too fast, even entering the conflict was could be seen as the author being excited and wanted to continue the story already, something I could sympathize too to be honest. Problem here is the character, they didn't feel so alive, because yes, they just don't. Problem wasn't on the writing or anything like that, it was more on how the atmosphere was created by the words that connected each other into one sentence, it was obviously not strong enough. Advice are given from this point. Try to paced your story, make it bit slower. If you could, focus on what is so important in the story for one chapter only, don't be afraid to do that, this is Webnovel, it's okay to slow down things by doing this. Also to improve more there are more reference could be included inside the story, by what I mean reference is the books that the writer reads that'll become something he study from and learning. The planet system could become a much more realistic with this in mind. It wasn't bad, but just with more tinkering, it would be more great.
Hey you cultivators, author is here! Just wanted to say that you may find my novel boring at the beginning. Rather than showing everything plainly and without any explanation, I have no choice but to explain, since all is related to what will happen in the future. Just be patient and read, the novel will become more promising. And please, vote with power stones for bonus chapters! I would also like to see your reviews here. Love, Awada141
Interesting as the "system" novels are concerned, It is really nice but try not to fall into the casual parts and codes of the type. The fact that the protagonist is starting from scratch is important but try as much as you can to not make his ascend dull and boring, with the repetitive actions of quests and so on. Anything beside that is not worth mentioning at this stage of the story.
I enjoy this story very much. Good plot and room for progress. I can't wait to read more. I hope to see more in the future! A bit of grammar issues, but it is still clear and readable.
Great novel and concept. I wish there was more chapters that expand on the world which is the only downfall. Otherwise this novel is a quick good read Also exp
I like the concept of the story , however I do feel like more detailed words should be used. I am still not sure what the main character looks like nor his mother. The world around him isn’t described to the full extent, yet it is still clear enough to understand. Overall, I think this work is worth reading.
cAuthor can you be a bit more specific about the release date and please update us on this book when you release the new book with it's name aswell.
Why are you not updating and adding more chapters, please add more your book is really entertaining and interesting. Please reply to this post of mine .
I really wanted to like this. I got completely lost by the 6th chapter and actually went back and reread it to figure it out. Sometimes "filler" is needed.
This story has the basic feel of a system novel, with it having a unique context to the specific system. The only faults present in the story is how it doesn't allow for extra details due to the scope of the story. Besides this fact both the world building and character creation aspects are through enough even though it seems rushed.
The story is amazing feels like it was written by a professional.So good job with the story and hope u don't quite writing the story like other webnovel originals.
Overall this work has a lot of potential and has a really interesting premise, it reminds me quite a bit of "My Mini Planet". However, it suffers a lot of the same flaws in that the story and character developments are too rushed. It would have been nice to see him spend more time doing things such as meeting the gods and living his life as a demigod during the first year (which was just time skipped) and also seeing some more in depth character development (make him have actual growth and feel more like a real person instead of just some thing that is being controlled by the plot).
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