They're minor mistakes here and there. Plain, dry, boring dialogue and story telling. The plot is driven by quests, sure it's a game world whatever but everything is just unrealistic, even in games you're not always going from one quest to the next and can actually go out and explore. Shouldn't he be exploring if he wanted to find that girl? All he's doing is playing his life like a game. World background... game world thats it. Character design... everyone's an NPC and the MC doesn't have thoughts or feelings.
Read if you want there's stable enough updates.
4 years ago
3
Billy_Castellanos
Thank you for those who read my work. Please be expected that there will be alot of grammar mistakes because i'm not english native speaker. English can be considered as my 3rd language.But don't worry, I'm working hard to improve as the chapter goes ^U^
4 years ago
1
skywalk3r
The idea of the story is quite good. but many grammatical errors like a man becomes her and many others. Word per chap needs more juice especially novels like this that mention status and item description so work hard thor.
I think you should focus on one story then write multiple ones if you think this story is progressing well.
Don't worry, I'll be back when more chapters are available.
Keep the good work and happy writing. :)
Thanks
4 years ago
1
Tee_hee
perfect world top player hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha lmao never expected to see this i love that game and still play it...
i am the top sb/ea
4 years ago
1
Asmur
Reveal Spoiler
4 years ago
0
Replusion
Reveal Spoiler
4 years ago
0
nanda_prima
Halo kak! Aku yang dari group fb webnovel indonesia. Ceritanya sih keliatannya sih menjanjikan ya, walaupun sih kekurangannya cuman di grammarnya.
4 years ago
0
Cathooo
Reveal Spoiler
4 years ago
0
Debauchery_Scholar
Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love
They're minor mistakes here and there. Plain, dry, boring dialogue and story telling. The plot is driven by quests, sure it's a game world whatever but everything is just unrealistic, even in games you're not always going from one quest to the next and can actually go out and explore. Shouldn't he be exploring if he wanted to find that girl? All he's doing is playing his life like a game. World background... game world thats it. Character design... everyone's an NPC and the MC doesn't have thoughts or feelings. Read if you want there's stable enough updates.
Thank you for those who read my work. Please be expected that there will be alot of grammar mistakes because i'm not english native speaker. English can be considered as my 3rd language.But don't worry, I'm working hard to improve as the chapter goes ^U^
The idea of the story is quite good. but many grammatical errors like a man becomes her and many others. Word per chap needs more juice especially novels like this that mention status and item description so work hard thor. I think you should focus on one story then write multiple ones if you think this story is progressing well. Don't worry, I'll be back when more chapters are available. Keep the good work and happy writing. :) Thanks
perfect world top player hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha lmao never expected to see this i love that game and still play it... i am the top sb/ea
Reveal Spoiler
Reveal Spoiler
Halo kak! Aku yang dari group fb webnovel indonesia. Ceritanya sih keliatannya sih menjanjikan ya, walaupun sih kekurangannya cuman di grammarnya.
Reveal Spoiler
Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love
Reveal Spoiler
Reveal Spoiler