Moving Out (Clear Instincts)

Endless raindrops drizzle from the sky covered with thick dark clouds. Flashes of lightning lit up the sky. I watch behind a blurred windowsill as trees and bushes rush past my view. My eyes shifted from my hands to the rainwater covered window as I fidget on my seat.

I gently bite on the insides of my cheeks to keep my anxiety at bay.

I am inside an unfamiliar car, not like I get to ride a specific car quite often. But, it was all the more nerve wrecking for me, since my destination was uncertain to me.

Yes, I have no idea where I'm going. But, it's not like I'm running away or anything, I'm with a sketchy guy who's currently behind the wheel, taking me somewhere I don't know.

I know what you are thinking; this raises red flags right now. However, I don't think that I'm being kidnapped, at least. I mean, I was not dragged here against my will or anything like that.

By the way, I'm Levi D'emillo, a 16 years old orphan from La Decadal Orphanage. I was never taken or considered for adoption in the past 16 years of my life. Parents of all types had come and gone, but none of them bats an eye my way. At a young age I felt so insecure of myself witnessing as all the couples that had visited the orphanage pick other children after children that wasn't me. Therefore, at the age of 9, I gave up hope of ever being adopted. I mean, most kids are adopted ranging from 5 months to 7 years of age. It was a bit rare to be adopted around my age.

The rejection that I felt from all these years had made me become stronger and made me more calculative of how I should act. I didn't feel too neglected, because something within me whispers soothing words that held me up and comforted my sorrowful nights. I believed that it was my gut or a subconscious voice in my mind. It always knew what I should do. It nagged at me to do something and once I've done it, the results would always be in my favor.

But I wasn't the only one who gave up on my hopes of having a family, my subconscious had also urged me to hope for something better than a foster family. The thought of finding my true parents was a rare topic that would cross my mind.

I hated dwelling in the thought, it wasn't that I held a grudge or anything. I had no idea what their true intentions are for leaving me in an orphanage. Whether it be good or bad, I rather not jump to conclusions. Seeing how my fellow orphaned children understand what a family is and as they began to question about their true parents, I saw how much it tore them apart on the inside.

So let us just say that I'm afraid to think about my past.

My lips tremble gently as I look out of the window, trying my hardest to paint a picture of what was outside of this speeding vehicle. I was desperately looking for things that could distract me. Because it has been quiet car ride, the man never uttered a word ever since we left the orphanage.

I snuck a glance towards the guy's way. His eyes trained ahead, focused on the road. Face, blank and concentrated as he maneuvers the car steadily. He then glanced up to the rare view mirror and looked my way. This startled me a bit and I immediately averted my eyes, I could feel his eyes lingering on me for a while before he looked away and probably focus back on driving.

I decided to recap what had happened before this. I had nothing to do anyway. I decided to look out the window and let my mind linger within my previous memories.

***

My feet automatically lead me to Mrs. Melrose's office. After being told that Mrs. Melrose needed me, I immediately stopped reading my book and gathered all my stuff then head to the office.

Somehow, an unsettling feeling rumbled in the pits of my stomach as I made my way through the halls that would guide me to the office. As I got closer, I began to feel very agitated. As soon as I was in front of the very door of the room, my hands halted mid-way from reaching for the doorknob.

My instincts kicked in and it screamed at me to be cautious, not to stop, but be careful. Somehow, I knew that something big was waiting for me behind these doors. It made me slight tremor from the thoughts that lingered in my head in an instant.

I could hear Mrs. Melrose's soft voice muffled by the door that blocked me from seeing her. She was talking to someone and I was certain that it was unfamiliar. The voice nearly made slight vibrations through the door as I had observed how low and deep it was.

Breathing in a sigh, I pursed my lips and pushed open the door. I looked down at the floor as a soft creak resonated from the door as I open it slowly. The conversation from within automatically halted at the sound of my entrance.

"Ah, Levi, my dear," I heard Mrs. Melrose's soft voice greet me.

Her gentleness always made me feel calm and had always eased my tension. My gaze trailed upwards directly looking at Mrs. Melrose. The place I knew where she was, behind her table. I kept my eyes on her alone, too nervous to look at the stranger seated before her.

She graced me with a soft smile and gestured me to come to her, her arms held up for me to take. My uneasiness grew as I felt the stranger's eyes directed at me. I bit the insides of my cheek to hold in my expression, it was my last chance to back away and hide. Therefore, I kept my eyes on Mrs. Melrose's open arms and hesitated.

Her smile urged me to come to her and her eyes held a look of expectations, so I gripped the door's sides and made my decision.

I let go and went up to Mrs. Melrose. I witnessed as her smile grew broader as I made my way to her. I still refused to look at the man that sat a few feet away from me. I could feel his gaze follow my every movements and it made me want to fidget in discomfort.

I tried to shake him off, focused on Mrs. Melrose, offered her a small smile of my own, held my arms up, and took hers in mine.

She gave my elbows a gentle squeeze as she looks up at me with so much affection that it confused me for a moment.

Then, she spoke in such a soft voice saying, "dearie, I need you trust me on this, okay?"

I look at her with furrowed brows, completely confused. Her eyes told me to just say yes and I find myself unable to say no. Still with a perplexed expression, I nodded and waited for her to speak again.

"I need you to pack your things... After doing so, I need you to come back here and I'll explain everything to you," she asked almost pleadingly. As if she knew that, I had every bit of intention to refuse.

For a short moment, I was speechless. My mind wasn't working at the mention of her request. My mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. So I just pursed y lips to keep it from looking stupid.

She smiles up at me, nervousness coating her gaze as she speaks to confirm, "Please Levi, I will tell you everything right after. You just have to trust me."

She gives me another squeeze and stared off at me with expectations in her eyes.

Again, I absent mindedly nodded my head and just found myself agreeing. Which surprised me a bit, when I was about to take back what I had agreed upon, I saw the smile on Mrs. Melrose face glow in satisfaction and relief. That it made it difficult for me to refuse and dejectedly surrendered.

I turned towards the door and looked back at Mrs. Melrose. Her eyes dazzled with encouragement. With the last bit of my wits held in place, I managed to exit the room and head up to mine.

The whole time I headed for my quarters, my mind somehow shut down and was completely blank the whole way. Not until I've arrived at my room and had entered it as if I was in a trance. After two blinks did my mind suddenly began to process what I had to do. This only meant one thing for me.

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes as I slowly understand what might happen as I face Mrs. Melrose later. My heart felt heavy and burdened as thoughts and questions surge my mind all at once.

A certain feeling of heavy pain gnawed at the tips of fingers to my chest and down on my knees, making me feel weak and fall to my knees and weep silently.

One thought made me this way...

I was finally moving out...

Here's the quote of the Chapter for today!

"Life is about change. Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's beautiful. But most of the time, it's both."

-Lana Lang-