Am I Overthinking

I thought that our talk was over but before I could get ready to sleep, mom called me downstairs. She had brewed some tea and was sitting on the barstool near the stairway. She pointed for me to sit in the barstool adjacent to her but I shook my head saying.

"It's okay, Mom, I'll stand."

"I'm twice your age, I'm not as naive as I look." She sighed, "This is your first relationship, I'm sure the feelings between you are intense but... please be careful and I am willing to give you any advice you need." My mom's words touched me... so I decided to ask my mom what I was thinking

"Were there any telltale signs before Dad proposed to you?" Her face froze, doesn't seem like she was prepared for that. She swallowed some air and fidgeted a little bit before starting.

"He...asked me to meet his closest friends and family... He also planned a trip for just the 2 of us... he asked me questions like... what I thought about marriage and how many kids I wanted but in such a casual way, I didn't register that he was referring to being married to him or having his children... I was so stupid."

"Oh... that makes sense... I think Shion is planning something big on my birthday or graduation... he keeps alluding to that and it's making me nervous."

"YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE?!" Her tone was a mixture of angry and shocked.

"I'm not sure," I replied timidly.

"You have your whole life ahead of you, there's no need to get married so soon." My mom stated firmly

"... There's no way being with Shion would hold me back... we can stay engaged for years and I can not imagine being with anyone else, so why would I refuse?" My response caused her eyes to roll and she sighed,

"It's just because he's your first love that you feel that way." She corrected, which made me regret opening up to her.

"I'm not an idiot. I know there are other guys, I know couples break up all the time but I think there might be a reason that I've never been interested in anyone else. I feel like there's a reason that I'm so attuned to him, despite usually being oblivious to everything. I also think that if he asked me to marry him right now, I would say yes, without any hesitation, doubts, fears, or regrets!" I didn't think I could emotionally handle how she'd respond so I rushed to my room after that and locked the door. I wasn't sad, but all the strong emotions I was feeling still caused my eyes to overflow with tears; so I sat with my back to the door and wept until the tears finally stopped and I fell asleep there on the floor.

I woke up to my bedroom door being opened and gently pushing me.

"...Honey..." My mom whispered. I groaned and sat up so I could move out of the way. She entered my room to sit on the floor beside me. "It's time for school." She stated, probably to break the ice. I nodded with my eyes locked on the wall. "I'm.... also sorry... I'm just worried about you rushing into things... but you're a smart girl... I shouldn't have belittled your feelings." I was my usual groggy-after-waking self, but I put all my willpower into responding,

"I'm... sorry for yelling... I know you mean well... I just never felt this way about someone before... I couldn't take losing him." My mom frowned.

"No person is that important." She commented. I nodded,

"I enjoy having him around, it makes me happy to see him smile, to hear his voice... I'm really only thinking about myself, not him..." My mom laughed and then hugged me.

"Don't you want to go to college... or travel? Start a career?" I thought for a few moments before answering her,

"I've never thought about those things... the only thing I want is to be in Shion's future..." 

"Get ready for school." She demanded before she left my room. I did as told, grabbed a muffin, and hurried outside. Serco was waiting for me like yesterday... He said he was going to be here but my heart did backflips as soon as I saw him anyway... I thought I was prepared. Serco smiled at me and said,

"Good morning, Akina." Which only made my condition worsen for some reason. His sweet smile turned slightly sadistic as he noticed me fretting, even though I tried hard to keep a straight face.

"Good morning." He extended his hand to me, I grabbed it without needing time to think about it.

POV Nacina

After exiting my front door I discovered Tiren standing by my mailbox. My heart panicked because my parents might see him and jump to the wrong conclusions so I grabbed his wrist and started trying to drag him away but he was stronger than I expected and snatched away.

"What are you doing?" His usually friendly voice was deeper than usual and there was no emotion in it.

"I just want to go somewhere private, so my parents don't see you," I informed. He clicked his tongue and then smiled.

"Oh, I didn't realize, my bad." He gestured for me to lead the way so I walked to the end of the block, opposite Akina's house so she wouldn't see.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, even though we were far enough away that no one who mattered would hear me.

"I was hoping I could walk to school with you and Aki." He answered. It's so strange hearing him call her Aki.

"I... don't think she likes you, yet," I admitted and he frowned then muttered

"Of course... because of that fu..." He then stopped himself and regained composure. "Well... it can just be us then." Even though he was doing a good job sounding nonchalant, I could tell that's not what he wanted.

"Do you... have a crush on Aki?" I inquired and he frowned. A look of disgust flickered across his face before he corrected his expression and his smile returned

"No... I don't know her... I just want to get to know the person my brother likes so much." He seemed to be being honest.

"You... want to hurt Shion, don't you?" His eyes widened and stared deep into mine, he stared at me silently for a few seconds before finally saying,

"I... change my mind. I'll walk with you another day, I have something else I should be doing." Tiren then left in a, clearly, bad mood. I have been texting him pretty often since we met and through text, I grew fond of him but every time he's near me in person I feel gross and annoyed... Maybe I could always sense his bad intentions but part of me was hoping he actually wanted to be my friend. Oh well, no use moping over it! So I turned around and began jogging hoping Akina hadn't left without me yet. Shion was in front of her house again today, they were holding hands and chatting with permanent smiles on their face. I was hurt for multiple reasons, firstly, no matter how hard I tried, nothing I ever did made Akina smile so consistently and... because of my annoying heart, being attracted to who it shouldn't.

"Hey!" I yelled to announce my presence. Akina sent me a smile and waved me over to join them.