Going Back To Hell

Juliet

We landed in America… Waited to refuel and flew west closer to our old town. I needed to get into Chris's safety deposit box as soon as possible to see if Kubra had the correct information. Louis and Marcus walked into the bank with me, quickly getting the manager's attention and having an escort down into the vault. We stood opposite the table when the steel box clanged as it hit the desk. It had a fingerprint screen on the front. The manager stepped outside of the vault door. A security guard patrolled the basement floor.

"Please, gentleman," he called Louis and Marcus out of the vault, "It's a personalized box. Only one person allowed in there at a time." He closed a curtain as Marcus and Louis joined him on the other side.

I didn't know if my fingerprints would work even though my name was first on his list. I slowly lifted my hand and placed my thumb on the screen. The mechanism automatically unlocked. The little door sprung open. I bit my lip; the old cellphone box carrying all of Chris's letters to the 'invisible girl' was inside. I wanted to smile but couldn't—thinking about the first and last time I touched him—and the day I found out he could. The first time, I got in his car and went with him. I softly drew in a breath; it was also where we ended up having sex in his car. I had completely forgotten it was the same place. I opened the box. All his letters were in there, along with the present he had talked about.

Picking it up… I drew in another breath. It was a swatch like the birth certificate. I studied the picture on the top and the emblem. It was Chris's. Proof I would be able to… What? Go to Zoreah and tell them I know this guy. Take me to your leader… The same little picture on Caleb's little butt and on the tattoo on my arm. I placed it on every part of my body to see if this was a marriage certificate. Nothing happened. I sighed.

I searched between the letters and the old box for something else resembling tech… There was nothing. My fingers searched the dark corners of the safety deposit box. No magic buttons. "It's not here." Both my husbands were quiet. Marcus pushed open the curtain and past the manager, double-checking my efforts. His eyebrows raised when he saw the swatch. "Will this make it official? The long last… marriage certificate you were hoping for?"

I shrugged, pumping him in his side with my elbow. "It doesn't come off. I think Chris has to do it… Or it's for Chris's father… Maybe another birth certificate… I don't know."

"Wouldn't they have done it when he was born? Chris doesn't have any weird tattoos on his body, does he?" Louis asked.

I shook my head from side to side…. "We have to find Michael. Why would he lie?"

"He didn't lie… Jabin was there, remember…" Louis replied.

I turned to the manager, "Is there a log for accessing a box?"

The suited-up guy nodded and typed into a computer next to the vault door. "Do you know someone else connected to the box?" he asked.

"Why? Who was here? A name…?"

"The name Warden... comes up."

"When?" Louis asked.

"Only a day ago."

We all sighed and huffed. "He was also at the cages that night," I was talking to myself.

"He got slashed open… Maybe he was following orders?" Louis suggested.

I shook my head. It couldn't be… "Warden has never liked me… Has anyone tried to get in touch with my uncle? Does he even know I'm going back?"

***

The last time we drove through the compound gates, I was drugged, and my parents were the only ones in the car. From the outside, it seemed like any other gated community. With one exception… It was guarded by men holding massive guns. Marcus was driving, and the gates opened even before we were close. The men saluted as he slowed down. All of our identification was checked. They searched the car and my mother's bag. Marcus was greeting all the men he recognized. Allowed to talk to him through rank. Men who worked for him. The rest of us got back in the car. Even if he said he didn't want to be back—he was visibly more relaxed… I even heard a dig about getting his lost wife back and how he was coming back the victor over me. There were so many red flags going up my spine.

I peeked back over my shoulder while the gates closed… Made it final. The massive wall connected to it on either side made the compound impenetrable. Marcus tried to get my attention in the rearview mirror from the corner of my eye. He wanted reassurance, but I was the one who needed it. I couldn't give him any. The wall had watchtowers every hundred meters or so. It spanned as far as the eye could see. My mom was on my one side, and my dad was on the other, each clasping one of my hands.

We drove in the direction of our old house. It took us a while to even get there. The place was larger than I could remember. More homes than I could remember. Why was my memory of it so distorted?

Marcus parked the car where he always had when I was just a kid. I would jump the trampoline and see him drive up the street. The sensations of how happy I was to see him flooded my body and mind... There was something between us… Even back then. Even if I was too young to understand. Marcus kept trying to make eye contact with me—again and again. My peripheral vision had improved, and so had my facial expressions. I could be as stoic as he was. And payback tenfold. My resting bitch face was back. Our house... was the same. The garden was done. The grass was cut. It had fresh paint where it needed it. There was even a car in the driveway for my dad.

Getting out of the car brought back such a wave of different emotions that all I could do was grab onto my mom's hand. Hers was also a little sweaty. She held mine tightly, and her features were visibly nervous.

Running engines got our attention. Three cars came driving up to the house before we could even step foot on the stone path leading to the front door. We all paused and stared until they stopped. Kubra got out of the one. My heart dropped. My stomach flipped. Louis's words kept echoing in my mind… "You would have to suffer a little while." I didn't want to. Kubra waved for Marcus to come over and get in a car. They closed the doors, and Kubra whispered into his ear.

I could not hear them. I was sure Louis couldn't read them from there. Kubra was taking every precaution. There was a moment when they had heated words, and the door opened on Marcus's side. Would he send them all away? Stay with me…? Kubra leaned closer and said only one thing... Whatever it was did the trick.

Marcus walked over to us. I turned around and headed towards the house. Away from him. Unable to face him. Like a woman who would not wait for her husband to come home every day after work. Be deployed for months. One of those women who had no life, and her husband would make his dreams come true. I could hear him greeting my father and mother and, lastly, Louis. Deep in my heart, I had hoped he would run after me—make me listen to him—reassure me everything was okay. Tell me what was happening. He didn't. Doors slammed, and the cars left. I was going to chew my lip to pieces... Suddenly, I was back at the compound for real with him not there. Alone.

The one thing I'd learned about marriage was that everything could be fine one moment and an absolute disaster the next. Two lives needed to merge. I hated it. I hated not fighting and sorting things out. Chris was the only one who forced me to talk—and wanted to be a part of a team. Our time in the mountains with Caleb tormented me. My lips pressed together, holding back tears. When I couldn't hear the cars anymore, I turned back to the street. There was one car left standing in the road with the doors open. The confusion must have shown on my face. "You're not staying, babe," Louis said.

"W…hat… do… you mean?" I stuttered.

"I can't live with you there at Qadir's house... And you can't live here with your parents… and me," Louis's voice was as tight as the pressure around my chest.

When Louis told me I was going alone… I nearly broke down. The veil hid a lot of things… Especially since I was holding on by a thread. No one could help me. I was all alone.

I didn't even want to go into the old house to show Louis everything. I just turned away from him and got in the car Marcus left. Louis and my dad talked for a bit. I was being unfair towards him... He wasn't doing anything wrong. They probably wouldn't even allow him on the estate… If Marcus couldn't protect me. What did I think Louis could do?

***

"Will you be okay? I can stay with you a few nights," my dad tried to soothe me.

I was considering it but only took his hand and held it. "No… I best get this over with. I don't know what I was thinking or how I made the assumption Louis would join us… No one here would accept it." My dad squeezed my hand. "How do I get over assuming the best in every situation? Or even making wrong assumptions… Trusting that they aren't lying to me…."

He sighed, "Only by experience, Julie."

It was quiet for a bit. "We haven't talked in a while, Dad. Is there nothing you would like to say to me… And not that you're proud of me, please. Because right now, I feel like an utter failure. Forcing us off the compound and now sending you guys back."

"Juliet, I was sentenced to stay here for nine hundred years. Whether you were born in that time or not. It didn't make a difference. In the eyes of En-gannim… I'm a criminal. That's not on you."

"I feel like all I do is bring drama into your lives. We were so peaceful until we met Marcus."

My dad chuckled, "Puberty is a bitch." I laughed lightly.

We were already at the main gate of Qadir's estate. They opened without question, setting me a little at ease. Maybe my dad would be able to come and visit. Sneak in my mom. The stairs up the main house were large and opposing; it was where Marcus and I stopped the day I first met Qadir.

My dad made a left and kept driving down a lane. We followed the little road until it ben, coming out to a small parking area in front of big red wooden doors. "How do you know where…?" My dad was here the morning Marcus branded me... He was in Marcus's study. I would be going into the house where everything happened. Sadness wanted to grip my heart; all I had to do was think about Caleb… Not seeing him ever again made me numb. So, he was a good buffer for me. Not to lose it completely.

"I'm sorry, Julie." I nodded, examining the front of the gates to Marcus's house. Two guards opened for us and led us through. My dad walked first, with one guard in front of him and one behind me.

The style of his house wasn't at all what I had expected. Outside the gate, it was one world, and in there another. It was beautifully designed. The buildings surrounded a pool, a yard, and a massive patio in a U shape. I was stunned Qadir would even allow it. The vibe wasn't at all what I thought Marcus would like. An under-roof walkway surrounded every building and connected the whole house. I frowned; there were so many room doors along the wall we were passing. The guard showed me to the second last one—a little bigger than the rest. The others were for second wives. All the doors were closed, though. Was Marcus hiding a wife after all? 

We walked through the door, but the one guard didn't leave, watching us. My dad had a look around. The room was spacious. Open plan. The first thing you saw was the koi pond that ran through the middle of the room. A cute courtyard was behind glass doors to the right. From the mountain behind the house, water flowed down the rocks, feeding the pond. A little bridge connected one side of the room with the other. The side of the room we were in had a massive king-size bed stacked on small wooden palates close to the ground. It looked almost identical to Louis's one in our glass cubicle in France. Across the bridge, there were cupboards, space for tee service, and a table between the two chairs.

Nothing was behind my room but the mountain that spanned up into the sky. Steep, smooth, and unclimbable. I turned to my dad and shrugged.

"You want me to go?" I lifted my wrist to check my now absent watch. Then, I reached for my phone in my backside pocket. Empty. "It's around six."

I bobbed my head, "No… you go ahead. Go and assure Louis I'm good. I will see him soon."

"I hate leaving you like this, Julie."

"I know… It's going to be tough on all of us."

He picked me up until my feet were dangling—something he hadn't done in years. The guard stared at us. The strange affection was a foreign concept for him, given the scowl on his face. Quickly, he put me down and left before he could change his mind. It wasn't two seconds before the same guard made his presence known at the door, "My name is Damian." A gun hung off his shoulders. He perched himself against the doorframe with wondering eyes. "I will be here the whole time. So you better get used to it. I don't want any trouble from you. I have my orders…." What was I supposed to say? Don't speak until you're told to. He didn't ask questions. Lifting himself up, he stood contemplating whether he needed to say more. Damian didn't. 

When he was out of sight, I grabbed the door handle, sliding it closed, wanting to lock it… I cursed; there was no lock and no keyhole… Nothing. My hand gripped the handle tightly. At least I had my ability… Not like last time. 

First thing first, I was going to have to start recording Damian's routine. When and how many times would they check in on me and if I would ever be left alone. I didn't really know what to do with myself, so I walked around my room. The loneliness gradually seeped in. I lived in a house full of people. Not anymore… No tech. No books. No pencil and paper. I could go cook. I snorted. What would I make?

I took off the veil. The room seemed a little bigger and brighter. The roof was high, giving the idea of space and depth. The lapping water was soothing. The fish were fat and big and thriving. I crossed the bridge to the side of the room that didn't have only a bed, trying to find the bathroom. The first door opened to a closet with a few things in it. Clothes, underwear, and more veils. The second door in the middle of the wall was a sliding door—also no lock. I pushed it open and gasped at the walls lined with books, as high and as far as I could see. A bed in the middle of the room faced towards… uhh, my head turned… my bed. I frowned, my gaze wandering from Marcus's room back to mine. My head tilted. I was a little taken aback, wondering how many women he's had in this setup.

I checked the last door on my right. It was made from glass and somewhat big and dark behind it. I slid it to the side, searched for the lights, and walked into a bathroom carved out into the mountain. Completely outside, plants everywhere. There was a massive glass tub in the middle of the room with a high water spout above it. It was magical with the dimmed lighting. I stood close to the tub, my gaze drifted from the glass door I had just come out of and then to Marcus's room. It had the same door. Both rooms looked out onto the bathroom space. Especially the glass bath—strategically placed. I giggled and shook my head. Marcus, Marcus… Marcus… 

I dropped my clothes and let the water run for a bit. It never rained in the desert. It was always freaking hot. Even if it was evening, the summer was coming. Sitting in the stream felt like I was under a waterfall, out in nature somewhere. I could imagine Marcus getting lost in there, wanting to drown out the voices in his head. Drifting in the water when the tub was full.

I stood up to wet my hair and wash it. Getting a loofah to scrub my body. The sweat under the veil would only get worse. Marcus had thought about everything. I even had toiletries… I swore under my breath; I should've brought my phone. No one patted me down at the gates. I might have gotten away with hiding it… I would've been able to speak to Charlene.

"Clank."

My head jerked towards the dark glass where the sound came from. I climbed out immediately, grabbed my towel, and wrapped it around me. Marcus's room was dark. With the light on in the bathroom, I couldn't see in there. I sighed, "Great." Slowly, I walked towards the sliding door.

If I were to put out the bathroom lights… technically… I would be able to see what was going on in his room. It was like a horror movie, thinking I would see Jason in his mask on the other side. My hand reached for the switch, pressing it. The moon's light fell into Marcus's room... There was no one.

I breathed out the breath I was holding, "Stupid Juliet," I mumbled.

I opened the sliding door, walking over the threshold. I noticed his room door was open a smidge. I could've sworn I heard something. "S—," I said softly, slowly walking to the room door. I opened it wide enough so I could peek my head out. Damian was there. Our eyes met when he turned around.

"Don't come out like that again," he warned, "You willl get a beating."

Carefully, I closed the door, shaking the willies off me. I went to my room and to bed.

***

The previous night, I had a fitful sleep. I kept watching the door the whole night, scared Damian would be standing next to my bed. Coupled with hearing a baby crying and being unable to go and pick him up, I was a mess… Everything left me in a kind of fitful limbo mode. So I woke up more tired than rested. No matter how much I had prepared myself for Caleb's leaving—it wasn't enough. How was it my fault I was a vampire and had a baby with Chris? Why did I have to pay for being in love with Marcus? Depression was setting in… Would I have slept with Chris? If I knew all there was to know about our worlds. The fact that species didn't mix.

The sun was coming up. Startled, I sat up… The door between Marcus's room and mine was open. I could swear I had closed it… The mental torture of fear… was not something I was used to. I did close it last night… I wasn't going insane. Not having locks, though… might make me go bonkers. At least when there was a barrier between you and an enemy, there was a warning of intrusion.

Getting dressed, I put on comfortable clothes and my veil. My head popped out of the room. Damian was outside on his chair—like he promised. Softly, I slid open the room door. "It is about time. We are hungry." Being snarky was probably not the best idea. Defeated, I walked to the kitchen. Hungry myself, I tried staying focused like Chris had said. Keep my mind on my prize and quiet.

Damian's face was one of those you wanted to plant your fist in. A constant smirk played on his mouth. Resting douchebag face. My nose wrinkled under my veil. At least he couldn't see my disgusted expression. I closed the kitchen door and started with breakfast. Of course, after I had to clean up… My mind was trying to figure out how to escape to see Louis. Marcus didn't know about my ability when he built the place. Theoretically, there would probably be a weakness somewhere. Right?

I checked my room. I checked my little courtyard. It was such a small space. There was no way. The mountain kept me inside at my end. My room was utterly cut off from the other 'wives' rooms—only thinking about concubines made me shudder. The catfights and the drama. I liked being queen, but not that much. The next possibility was the bathroom. Carved halfway out of the mountain… It was impossible; the walls too high. The place was a fortress.

I sighed, "Ugh!" I was determined to go see Louis.

My next option was to check every inch of the yard. I put on my veil and left the room. The freaking walls were so tall that climbing them was out of the question. No drains. No openings. My only salvation was the backdoor out of the kitchen where deliveries were made. Unless I was in my room, Damian was on my tail the whole time…. So, I had only one option… I would have to pretend to be in my room. Leave Marcus's door open a little. Disappear and walk out.

Not so bored anymore.

It took me so long to get to our old house that I could use it as exercise if I would sneak out every day. I walked to the back to peer into my room. There he was—on my bed. I softly opened the window and climbed in. "It took you long enough…." I jumped on him. He wrapped me in his arms.

"Am I a very sad case that I can't live without you anymore?" I asked.

"Pathetic… How was your first night."

"Fine, and yours?"

"Lonely," he pouted his lips, asking for a kiss. "You didn't have your ability last time you were here." I shook my head and flashed my eyebrows at him. He smiled, "These walls are very thin, baby… And your parent's room is right next door."

"I never heard them. Maybe we should use the car in the garage."

"No! That's where you and—" I put my hand over his mouth. He laughed softly, wrestling with me. He got on top. I would force him over, straddling him.

"What else are we going to do in this place?"

"Marcus said I can come to the house for a few days. While Qadir is in custody."

"Why didn't you come last night?"

"I don't want to coddle you." I punched him in the gut. He grunted and groaned, turning on his side. I pulled the cover over us and spooned him from behind, running my hands all over him. "And then, of course. There is starving you. So I can have you like this… It's always nice."

"Nice?" I dug my nails into his side. He squirmed. Louis is very ticklish. He soon got the upper hand, pinning me beneath him. My wrists pushed to the bed.

"Nice… and you still suck at grappling." I laughed lightly, pressing my lips together. "I'm glad to see you smiling. You okay?" he let me go and made himself comfortable next to me, yet still looking down at me.

I dramatically shook my head from side to side, "I need comfort." He showed me his biggest smile, which reached his ears and made the side of his eyes crinkle.

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?" my dad opened the door and yelled into the room—all in one action. Louis and I both swore loudly, throwing him with a pillow. "Your mom and I will take a drive to the market…" Louis's arm tightened around my waist under the sheet, dragging me closer to his body. "Let's say an hour?"

I scooted down until I was covered, embarrassed beyond measure. Louis laughed, "Really, Juliet. I'm two hundred years old. I think your dad knows what his daughter is doing with such an old guy… With only one thing on his mind."

I punched him in the stomach. He groaned.

My dad laughed, walking away. A moment later, the front door closed.

Louis seductively pulled the covers off, grazing my breast. Our eyes met and held; all the fun and games were over.

"This will only be our second time together," Louis whispered. I nodded and dragged his lips onto mine.

He wasn't on top of me long, rolling us over. I stared down at him, "And now?"

"You came into my room… Asking for it… You're going to have to be on top today."

I stuck my tongue out the corner of my mouth, "This is manipulation. You have the ability to make this great."

He stayed quiet for a bit. Reluctant? Why? "You have something to tell me?" Oh. No… I didn't want to talk. So, I stayed on top for punishment.

It worked to take my mind off everything as I rocked on top of Louis. But it wasn't going to make me cum. I was only getting more frustrated. Louis's release didn't take me long. He pushed me off him, giving me something I could go to the bathroom with. Sitting on the toilet for a while, I went back to the room. I dropped down on the bed, falling asleep. A few minutes later, Louis pulled me back on top of him, "Are you going to talk to me?"

I groaned, "Louis!" Thinking about having to utter all the words building up inside me was too much. Avoiding meant I stayed on top—again, having to go at it longer. It had me so close, but I couldn't get to my release like that, not without help. I never could. He knew it… When Louis was done the second time, he dragged me down against him, holding me close. "Baby…" he whispered, "Please talk to me…."

My legs were burning. My eyes were stinging to hold back my tears. No words wanted to cross my lips. I fell asleep with him stroking my hair.

After the third time, Louis gave up. I wouldn't talk. He let me be. I was so tired. The lack of sleep the previous night had drained me. Emotionally I wanted to curl up in a ball and suck my thumb. I couldn't keep my eyes open. Louis spooned me into his arms and held me so close to his body—in a tight embrace. I was thankful because all I needed was to be near him, where everything made sense. Safety and to feel him inside me. It wasn't about getting off. He knew that, too. I loved being with him… I fell asleep thinking about nothing but him.

The few hours of sleep we got were the best, and I felt better opening my eyes. The sun was hot outside. Louis complained when I stretched next to him, arms high above my head, twisting my naked body. His one eye opened, scanning me.

"No! Not again… please."

Guiltily, he quickly closed his eyes, smiling, "You angry that you had to do all the work today."

"Yeah, I wanted comfort, not a gym session… My legs are jelly."

"I should have told you I'm a lazy lover."

In disgust, I stared at him, narrowing my eyes. A few seconds later… we both burst out laughing. A knock at the door made Louis pull me against him, covering us both with the sheet.

"You got to come and see this, Louis... You to Julie… Quickly." Eyes wide, we jumped up in mutual understanding. We got dressed, throwing each other with clothes. Before I wanted to open the door, Louis's hand closed around my wrist; he spun me around and lifted me up, our eyes meeting. "I have no words, baby. You rock my world… that was… insane… You please me beyond anything… I love you!" My head slumped onto his shoulder… thinking I could do this every day.

"Yes, please," he begged. His voice was low, kissing my neck. "I'll make up next time. You know why I did it right." My lips found his… I nodded. I needed to be in control. He didn't mind. Even though in the beginning Louis's touch did not set me on fire… It would be lasting. I would never get enough of it because he was good for me—and I chose him.