Blind System

I like your idea, although it's misdirected in many ways. Admittedly, I'm a novice writer too, but I can give you some advice. Please note that I have only read two chapters for now. First, regarding wording. It is advisable to keep track of how many times the same word has been used in a paragraph, even if it is short. Short words may be repeated twice, while medium and long words should be avoided after one use. Now for thoughts on describing the environment and characters. At the point of the second chapter, you have fairly simple characters. They don't have the kind of things that would grab the reader's attention. I recommend reading articles about so-called character cards and making them somewhere or just mentally putting together a pattern of the character in your head. For example, white pupils can't exist in the real world, so it should have been described why he has those pupils. Maybe they are not white, but just faded due to blindness. The story seems to develop in a linear fashion. I like that you described the main character's family. It's an important part of him as a character. However, it's not quite clear why he decided to explore Qi for so many years and why he kept calling the butler (?) to read him the contents of the scroll. Another problem is the character design. The main character's image as an appearance is a bit cliched, although this can be justified by the fact that you are a beginner, but you should learn more about Chinese names, as the name Heewon cannot exist in Chinese in any case. This is as an example. If I'm not mistaken, there was also one more incorrect name. World Background. It's generally vague here so far, but I think for a novel that starts with the protagonist being immersed in another world, it's not that important. You''ve described the basic aspects, and that's a good thing. All in all, you come out with a strong 3. I'll keep reading.

This story is good, and great and i like how it is coming up. So u have decided I'll continue reading it and even add it to my library, because it is a good read.