Krump and get Krumped

Ork WAAGH after taming the Pig heads arrived at the umie hideout faster than any umie would expect, and ass soon as Orks saw the fortress made of stone with high walls and a giant moat they immediately stopped and waited for their Boss`s orders.

Humans, on the other hand, locked themselves inside and send messengers on a horse to call for reinforcements, while the remaining troops will stand their ground and defended the mighty fortress.

In the Ork camp Boss was looking at the fortress with a big wide smile, he could not wait for the fight that would be on these walls, but first, he needed to climb them. A simple thing to think about but very hard to do. For humans that is.

Mekboyz started to deploy their trebuchets and other lobas some bigger some smaller. When they finished they all gathered before Boss asking one question. –Whut are wez gonna use as ammunition?

Boss being wise and all-knowing simply grabbed a snotling, squig, a bunch of rocks and something brown of weird origin put it in, and shoot the Loba. Snotling hit the wall of a tower and with a big splat turned into a red stamp. Squig somehow flew thru the window of a tower and started to bite anything he could find, rocks hit the wall while shit flew somewhere into the city. – Use all of these or one of a kind. Whatever you can find. Nuw wheze gotta show them umies whose got bestes LOBAAA...

KABOOOOM - From the walls of the fortress clouds of smoke could be seen and soon after Orks and Lobas started to fly into the air. Boss stood there with his finger pointed at the human fortress with his jaws wide open.

-Dem, puny umiez got gunz! – Boss said and ordered his boys to flee. Some may think that Ork never runs away from the battle but that's not true. It is called tactical retreat and later they will return to fight one more time, but the next time they will be better. Probably.

When smoke fell cannons were prepared for a second salvo – KABOOOM - another salvo was prepared and another and another. They did not stop firing until the field was littered with Ork corpses.

When Orks fled the battle humans cheered and laughed at the stupid enemy that brought trebuchets to a cannon fight. They were also happy because Ork corpses were quickly decomposing and it was clearly visible that grass that was bathed in Ork blood was much greener. So they left the corpses to root and fertilize the ground.

Meanwhile Boss and his entourage made camp in the forest in order to rest and think about a plan to conquer the umie hidout. There was Boss, Doc, Mister Nuthead, Hogger and Mauork who was sitting inside a bush because you can never be stealthy enuf.

Everyone was silent not wanting to anger the Boss who was angrily eating squigs. One boy who thought it would be smart to pick up on the Boss and take the Boss position for himself was or more like what was left of him, was used as a holder for a stick with squig that was slowly cooking over the fire. This invention seemed to interest both Doc and Nuthead who were planning to make some grots with squig holder upgrades.

When Boss finished he looked menacingly over his entourage and spoke in a very serious tone. – Oi, ladz wez gut a problem to crack. – Orks nodded in agreement but reminded silent as they had no idea how to solve problems without using choppa or clobba. – U see, we cunt go in there with choppa or clobba, w cant dig a hole unda da wall cuz of the whater. Iz we cunt go there from da side and cunt go there from beluw. Wez gunna go frum above.

Orks looked at him as if he was some kind of messiah but still did not know how they are gonna get inside the fortress.

-Mista Nuthead ya will make me Loba who can lob fings from far away of the reach of umies.

-Yez Boss, but how big dis Loba iz gunna be?

-Bigger the better. Letz say we need to Lob something from ere all the way to umiez. Doc, youz gonna find me toughest, biggest and strongest boyz. Also what about that weird, magic boy I told ya to find.

-Iz got him righ ere Boss.- Doc showed him an Ork stuffed in a leather bag and with a gag in its mouth. – We just need to take him out, and he iz ready to go boss. As prevention measures for him to not escape I cut off his legs and arms. – Doc said proudly.

-Good, very good, wez gunna need him to make sume smoke over da umie hideout. Hogger, you iz gunna go back to da cave and bring us every boy, grot, snotling and squig you can find. Also, krump everything that iz nut Ork in these forests.

-Ay, ay boss.- Hogger saluted in his armor that was painted red.

-Maourok ya here?

-Yez Boss. – A bush spoke and slightly moved.

-Good, iz wunt ya to sneak into da umie hideout and find out something interesting. Iz don't know, anything how many squigs, how many boyz are there and are their chopas ard.

-Yez boss – Bush spoke again and moved away.

-Now get back to work! Wez go umies to krump and wez gunna need suem trees for that CHOP! CHOP!

Orks moved as one under the orders of their BOSS. They did not know why they needed to do something, but if this was going to give them the opportunity to krump something. They would Gladly do it.