SOMEDAY, I WILL LET GO

When lessons are learned in the most brutalist way,

And trust has been broken when I least expected it to.

There are thoughts I would never share,

Mental Health battles you haven't heard of.

The emotional pain and the struggles that I hide,

Trapped between mental breakdowns and the smile I pretend.

You can see it in my eyes,

Through the tears that show the pain, I am in.

Even read the emotions my face tries to hide,

The frown I show when I am in desperate need to vent out,

As though I am gasping for air and suffocated.

But there is no one to hear me out,

Other than imposing judgment from what they think is true and justified.

Trapped inside are the Truths you will never hear,

Filled with sensitive-to-touch trip wires,

That would cause an explosion if they dug deep within me.

The past I could never replace.

Even if I try to forget the memories that linger,

It just won't seem to go away.

Why can't I be happier?

Every day is a brand-new day, isn't it?

Yesterday's are gone and people move on,

But the hurt stays and I am afraid to move further away from the lies.

Cause the truth is more bitter than the lie.

Nothing lasts forever; I must cherish what I've got.

Even if It means living on a repeated loop of nightmares that never stop haunting me.

Every day reminds me the struggle to stay alive is not over yet.

Don't take my love for granted,

This is my warning note.

My love wouldn't be there one day and you will regret losing it.

All I ever wanted; was to feel wanted for once,

I wanted to be someone's priority,

I wanted to feel of some use.

Being myself is suicide in disguise.

At the end of the day,

The pain I am feeling now, won't disappear tonight,

But someday,

I will be giving up this fight which will cost my life.

And before I do, I will make sure you would know what it's like to be lonely.

Just to leave that bitterness of thought strangling your mind with denial.

And when I do let go,

I hope you don't come crying to my funeral,

Cause we both know that is just a fucking act to pay respect to my family.

No more wishing for my life to be better,

Some things weren't meant to be,

Nothing ever seems to last,

That's why one day I will set my soul free of this pain for good.