II: A Proposal

The rather small room is set up to seem inviting. One side is made up of a seating area and a table laden with various wines, liquors, and foods. There is another long table across from this space. Each seat bears the nameplate for a god who is attending the council. The room and furniture are not much, but I suppose they serve their intended purposes.

The Emperor approaches the table and begins pouring two cups of the finest liquor in all the realms. He then smiles as he hands one to me. “I hope this is to your liking. I know how much you enjoy the finer things in life.”

I fold my fan as I accept my brother’s kind gesture.

“Xiao Meng, I believe you have lived alone for long enough. How many lifetimes has it been? You should begin considering to settle down—and I mean actually settling down with a wife.”

I discreetly change the liquor to water. I must remain sober in all of this. “Hao, I do not intend to repeat the same tragedies of my past. Experiencing such things once is enough for anyone; whether mortal or immortal. Do not even try to force me to recreate such a terrible despair. Besides, we have spoken about this many a time before. You should very well know why I give the answer I continue to give you. Your efforts to change my mind will always be fruitless.” I slowly take a sip of the crystal cool water, trying to make it look like I’m drinking the liquor.

The water goes down smoothly despite the slightly sweet taste.

I’m delighted by the refreshing feeling as it descends down my precious throat.

Hao frowns as he sets his cup down. “I truly hope you will give Ai a chance. Her mother, the Floral Immortal, is extremely worried about her,” he hastily takes another sip, “and fears that her beloved daughter will never marry. You are the immortal of love and marriage. I firmly believe you are the solution to the predicament. Perhaps the reason Ai cannot find true love is because you simply wish to not find the feeling for yourself. Surely, even unselfish gods have a right to their own hearts.” Hao finishes off his drink.

I suddenly remember the roguish handsomeness of my own brother. I shake the memories away. I highly doubt my brother knows anything about love. I’m the one who is all-knowing when it comes to the most complex emotion anyone can feel. I calmly regard my brother.

Hao’s long black hair is tied back in a simple prince coronet. His wretched robes are the simplest possible, a method to appear far more humble. My brother’s appearance does not exactly hide his annoying status. Hao hasn’t changed as much as he’d like others to believe. He has never gotten over his dislike of me, but wishes for me to act as if he has. Hao appears to treat me as a proper brother should. He traps me with his dark eyes.

“You are being unusually quite observant.; however, I was born for a purpose in this life and finding love for myself is not that purpose. I have, over thousands of years, built a life for myself and I do not wish to see it changed. No one desires for their hard work to be in vain. Do you understand?”

Hao merely chuckles at my words. “Brother, you are far too harsh on yourself. I, of all immortals, know that you deserve love. You have given so much to this world—more than anything the rest of us have. The Empress and I simply govern the Heavenly Realm and see to it that mortals, and immortals alike, are safe. Chao Xing ensures that we all wake to such beauteous mornings. Li Jie provides us all with fantastical dreams in which we lose ourselves. Qing Yuan watches over the world’s water sources and sees to their pureness daily. While it is true we are all important in our own ways, you are the most precious of the gods. Xiao Meng, you ensure that no one—mortal or immortal—is left to suffer their many sorrows alone. You give us the love and support we require to push on in our lives,” my brother pauses, “I know that you are the most vital to the world and its people, especially after you wed the Empress and myself. I cannot picture a life without her. You truly deserve such things as much as anyone else does. Why do you persist in being alone?” His words stab me in the heart. Hao knows deep down how much I truly yearn for love.

I look away from my brother. “Hao, how many times must I stress my reasons before you understand? After what Lingruo did to me, I will not allow myself to go through that pain again. Even after two-hundred years, I haven’t forgotten it. It’s a scar upon my heart that will never heal. Love can be such a joyous thing, but it can also become something terrible. Love can heal and love can hurt. That is why I am as vital as you say to the realms. I orchestrate healing love for others while I accept the hurtful love for myself. Everything comes with a price. You should know this better than anyone,” I explain.

Hao places a hand on my shoulder. “Xiao Meng, when will you stop trapping yourself like this? You are way too harsh on yourself and you know it. You deserve to experience true love and I will no longer accept any of your protests. When the council meeting has concluded, I will speak with you and Ai about her mother’s proposal. I will push you to accept it and wed her,” my brother frowns, “I’m not doing this as the Heavenly Emperor. I’m doing this as your dearest brother. I promise that I want nothing more than your happiness. Please understand that.”

I allow my brother’s mostly false words to sink in. I knew of his determination towards getting me wed to a beautiful goddess or fairy, but I did not think he would resort to force. Especially forcing me to accept a marriage proposal I know nothing about. “Very well. I shall do as you like of me. But I cannot promise to be happy with these arrangements. I am only agreeing to this as a way to ease your mind. Do you accept my terms?” I set my now empty cup down on the table and unfold my fan.

Hao smiles annoyingly. He might as well cease the act. “Of course,” he replies as he sets his half-full cup down. My brother composes himself before turning towards the palace entrance.

I immediately hurry back the way we’d come. I fall behind Hao as we step outside. I carefully watch as a blue and silver carriage pulls up beside my grandiose one. A playful smirk falls upon my lips. “Qing Yuan, I do believe you have kept me waiting once again! I shall not allow a fourth time!” I call out.

Hao looks between the carriage and my beautiful self with his usual oblivious eyes.

A laugh like trickling water comes from the open carriage door as a regal god steps out. His raven locks are tied back with silver. The male’s robes mimic the depths of the ocean, changing from dark to light as my eyes roam from his boots to his face. Ocean eyes are full of life as usual. The god removes a silk fan from the folds of his robe. He reveals the surface to be painted with a riverside landscape. The god begins climbing the many steps up to us. “Ah! Forgive me, my friend. I deeply apologize for taking so long. You should expect the lateness by now,” Qing Yuan laughs. He soon glides up the last few steps. My friend remains a few feet away from us as he bows respectfully. “Your Majesty,” he greets Hao before turning to me, “Greetings, Lord Xiao Meng.”

We return his bow.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Lord Qing Yuan.”

Hao smiles as he looks between us. “Brother, why don’t you accompany the Water Immortal inside while I finish greeting the other guests.” He descends the many steps to speak with the other immortals before I can even begin to muster an answer. Hao plasters a pleasant smile on his face.

I give my dearest friend all my attention. “Qing Yuan, you seem a bit distracted. What bothers you so?” I unfold my fan as we step inside the Heavenly Palace. I walk from wall to wall, pretending to admire the many tapestries and paintings. I already have a feeling whatever disturbs my friend involves me.

“I have found myself thinking of a matter most important lately. If you will allow me to speak on the matter, as it concerns yourself, I shall share my true opinions,” Qing Yuan raises a hand, “Before you can answer, I will say that you cannot stop me from expressing any and all emotions I hold towards the thoughts of your marriage to the young lotus fairy, Ai,” the Water Immortal replies. He steps up beside me with a sigh. “I have known you for many years and hope that you will trust my words as much as you trust me. I remember when we were mere children training to become the gods we are now. You were much different then. You used to believe in finding love for yourself, but now that we are older, your views have changed.”

I steal a glance of my old friend’s melancholy face. “I don’t believe in such a thing anymore. I was foolish then,” I comment.

“Please tell me why…If I may know,” Qing Yuan replies. He pulls out his own fan as he turns to me.

We truly are men of indulgence. We delight ourselves with any and all luxuries. Qing Yuan and I have always been this way since childhood. We always confide in one another before speaking of our grievances to someone else.

Qing Yuan is like the true brother I was separated from at birth. He is bound to me through bond alone rather than blood.

Blood may be thicker than water, but souls carry the strongest bond of all.

Soulmates are important for this reason, making my job one of the most vital.

I dare not answer immediately. I carefully evaluate Qing Yuan’s words in order to form the proper response. I have already greatly confided in him. What is there to be afraid of? “You may speak freely upon the matter as long as it is done with either myself or my uncle. No one else is to hear of the matter for it is quite the personal matter and sensitive subject.” I briskly turn away from the tapestries.

“Xiao Meng, I already know your feelings towards finding true love and marriage for yourself,” Qing Yuan follows me further inside, “And I do not hold any blame towards you. Heartbreak is something that scars one for an eternity and there is no cure—save for one.”

I roll my eyes. “The only cure for heartbreak is to love again,” I sigh.

Qing Yuan nods thoughtfully. “One cannot live their entire life in eternal despair. It is hard to push past all the hurt and suffering, but one can gain power from pain by simply turning that pain into power. Just as your brother told you before, you are the most important god of all immortals in the Heavenly Realm. Love is the most powerful magic merely because it is much like yin and yang. The happiness and pain are both part of the same thing. Neither can be separated. Without one, the other cannot exist; therefore, love cannot be without both sides of it. It is true that you have mainly endured the darker side of love, but it is also true that you have experienced the lighter as well.”

I offer my friend a mix between a glare and raised eyebrow. “What are you trying to tell me?”

Qing Yuan gives an exasperated sigh. “I want you to push past all of your despair and learn to love. I want your happiness as does your brother. We both wish for you to have all that you have given to everyone else,” My dearest friend finishes quickly.

More words were going to slip from his tongue.

“You were going to compare me to your brother.” I look away for a brief moment. It is true that I am much like the Fire Immortal, but I dislike being compare to him. “What makes you think that?” I chuckle to hide my feelings.

Qing Yuan forces a smile. “Do not play with me. I know you are aware of what I am speaking of. My brother struggled with love just as you have—maybe not exactly the same—but still he did,” my friend sweeps his hand across the air, “Look at him now. He has a beautiful wife and they are soon to have a child. It was my brother who taught me that, even if it seems as if everlasting, suffering is only temporary.”

I glide over to the large table across the room from Temptation’s table.

Qing Yuan finds his seat and settles down.

I resign myself to sit on the Emperor’s right and the Water Immortal’s left. I slowly take note of the nameplates in front of the empty seats in an effort to brand where each immortal sits on my memory. I’ve never paid much attention to seating, but something tells me I should have. I remain silent as I mull over Hao’s true intentions. I don’t believe a single word that slips past his lips. I may not be in the right to ruin Hao’s reputation, but I’d rather spare myself.

Only one of us can have his reputation in tact.

And I choose me.

The remaining immortals file in as if school children following their teacher on a rope.

It all sickens me how nearly all of them follow my brother just because of who he is.

Hao takes his seat before gesturing for the others to join us. He nods and smiles at those who pass.

An immortal sits across from me with elegance and grace to match my own. Purple hair decorated withe star-like sparkles in every strand falls behind his back. Midnight blue and purple robes cloak his lithe body while his youthful face makes him seem delicate. His eyes are mini night skies trapped in time. This immortal is definitely beautiful beyond mere words, but even he cannot compare to me. He smiles at me in acknowledgement and says, “Greetings, Lord Xiao Meng. You have my thanks for assisting me a few days ago.”

I shyly lower my fan before folding it with the first genuine smile I’ve offered. “Of course, Li Jie,” I begin, “I was very delighted that I could help for once. How are those lovestruck mortals doing?” I don’t want to ask; I’m only being polite.

The god of dreams smiles brightly like the moon itself when at its highest point. “Quite well. They are overwhelmed with thanks and gratitude for the both of us,” the smile phases into a frown, “I truly hope they do not experience any hardships they cannot survive, but alas, fate does not work in such a way. No matter how much we wish for it to.”

I want to scoff at his words.

Even immortals fear tragedy and heartbreak. They’re more human than one would expect.

We fear things just like mortals. It sets us apart from the demon tribes in their realm. Why do we fear?

I cannot give a solid reason.

“I still thank you, nonetheless,” Li Jie finishes.

I nod in thanks with a false smile. I love the god like a brother and only wish for his sight to return. Why am I the only one who sees the truth? Is it because love is under my jurisdiction and mine alone? I shake my head and turn to a beautiful woman who sits beside the Fire Immortal a few seats down.

She has dark hair and vibrant amber eyes. The goddess wears only the finest yellow silk. Her wrists, ears, and neck are all overwhelmingly adorned with topaz. The immortal offers me a flirtatious smile that makes me cringe. “Xiao Meng, I have caught word that you have already been discussing some matters with the Heavenly Emperor,” she bats her eyes at me, “Is there anything we should know?”

I force myself to swallow the lump in my throat without gagging. I take a deep breath before replying, “Chao Xing. Everything that is meant to be heard will be disclosed in due time.”

“It may have only been a private matter. You’ve no right to pry,” Qing Yuan adds.

Chao Xing nearly wilts before regaining her supposedly cheery countenance.

Hao finally raises a hand. “My brother and Lord Qing Yuan are right. We were taking care of a very personal matter. We will now discuss what concerns all of us.”

Everyone immediately straightens up in their seats.

I am overcome with confusion. I have no inkling of a matter that’s so urgent.

“What has happened?” Li Jie probes.

“Fifty-five thousand five hundred years ago, I was appointed to take Heaven’s throne. I don’t plan on giving it up at this moment. But I do believe action ought to be taken,” he scans our faces carefully, “My wife and I have decided that when our child is born, regardless of being a boy or girl, they shall be appointed as next in line for my throne.”

My brother’s words are met with praises and congratulations.

Everyone delights in Hao’s words, except for me.

I remain silent, trying to remain in control of my emotions. I can’t let anger or envy take over my magic. I’m brought back to everything Qing Yuan had said when he arrived.

Is it all true?

I can feel it buried deep inside me. All of the envy and anger I’ve shoved down rise, ready to spill out. I quickly fumble to hide my face behind my one and only defense.