The Slow Collision
Author: Phantom_of_Romance
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In the Helix Nebula, Amelia, a new cadet at the Space Battle Auditorium, is thrust into an accelerated six-month training program after her system, Nostradamus, predicts planetary destruction. As Amelia races to become a planet analyst and safeguard her world, Captain, a Voracian of the last generation with implanted wisdom, departs the Horsehead Nebula using hyperdrive.
Guided by the Prophet System, which informs his Queen of the abundant resources awaiting them, Captain must prepare his colony for potential combat against an unknown foe—the humans. As their paths slowly converge, both Amelia and Captain must uncover the puzzles presented by their respective Systems, with the fate of their species hanging in the balance.
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I can’t wait to see where this goes. but I will stick aro to find out und
I don't want to be harsh nor sugarcoating it, but here's my review.It does interested me in the first place. But the sentences was like breaking down my immersion.The dialogue seems to be incorporated with the sentences and some grammar issues is like adding salt to the wounds.My only suggestion is simple:1. Separate the dialogue sentences from another sentencesexample:He/She doing this and then said something with some adverbs."bla bla bla"2. Rephrase the sentences which hard to read. Maybe you can use Quillbot which costed around 9$/month.
Reveal Spoiler
I’ll rate this as a five, for I firmly see this purely interesting. I mean… there’s just so much to anticipate for. Way to go! <33