Thirteen

"Jaynie!" her voice echoed across the empty snow, and I turned, waiting for Nettie to catch up. Her skin was dark against the background of white, emphasizing her rich color.

"How moosh kay, Nettie," I grinned slightly, letting her hook her arm through mine. Trudging along side by side, we plowed through the knee high snow together.

"Is that Indian speak?" Her expression was warm, so I nodded.

"Yes, it means good morning, or hello."

"Oh. Well, hi!" That easy, friendly smile never faltered. I couldn't help but shake my head at her persistently cheerful attitude, and be grateful for it.

"How is your family?"

"Oh, we's doin' just fine," she dismissively rolled her eyes, smiling. "Tell me 'bout Rose! What's she like?"

"Quiet," I told her softly. "She sleeps, and eats, and watches, but rare is it she makes any noise, even to cry."

"She must be two weeks old now. You like her alright?" Nettie glanced at me, shivering slightly. My nod was affirmative.

"She always smiles when she sees me." Swallowing, I looked furtively around then stopped walking. It had been weighing on me, this clandestine wish, and I wanted to share with my best friend. "I have something to tell you."

"What?" She recognized my guarded tone. "Is it a secret?"

"Yes."

"Tell me." Her eyes were huge, sparkling with energy. Searching her face, I hesitated only for a moment.

"I met someone...someone like me." I could tell she didn't quite understand.

"Like you? You mean a half breed?"

"No, a boy. He is my people, my blood."

"Really? An Indian?" Suddenly she was excited for me, her fingers banding tightly around my arm. "Did he know your pa- I mean, your family?"

"Yes, and..." I leaned closer to her, lowering my voice to a whisper. "He wants me to go back, to live with our people."

"What!" She was truly shocked, staring at me in unmasked alarm. "You're leaving?"

"No...I...I want to though." Biting my lip nervously, I tried to explain. "I have promised to stay with Mamma until I'm grown, but after that-? Nettie, I could go home! Do you understand what that means to me? Home, Nettie, back to my own people."

"It's just...I thought we were your people," her voice faded as disappointment clouded her features. "You ain't happy here, Jaynie?"

"Nettie," I hadn't expected her reaction. "I am happy, mostly, but this life...this isn't mine it's Mamma's. My life was with the people of my father. I am Yanktonai."

"And white," she reminded me softly, hopeful. "White folks belong with other whites, don't they? Your ma, and pa, and baby sister...what about them?"

"I do not know." Honestly I admitted that to myself. Suddenly Nettie smiled, throwing her arms around my shoulders.

"Just promise me, if you decide to go away, we'll still be friends."

"Always," bashfully, I briefly returned her hug. "We will always be friends-."

"How sweet!" the scathing tone cut through the chilly air ahead of us. "A slave an' a savage!"

Looking that way, I felt my temper flare hot staring at the freckled face of Sammy Hayes. Nettie's gentle grip on my hand squeezed as she jumped away, startled.

"Ignore him Janyie," she murmured. "It's okay."

"Ignore me?" He took a threatening step forward. I moved between him and my friend, my chin up gaze direct.

"Do not provoke me Sammy Hayes. Nettie is my friend, leave her alone."

"Fine." His fists tightened into balls as he advanced more. "How about I teach you a lesson instead?"

Instantly I was back in the wagon train, surrounded by mocking, ugly boys. I felt again the harsh blows of fists, the painful dig of boots in my ribs and back. Muscles knotting as fury bubbled to the surface, I took a deliberate step forward.

"Jaynie, don't..." gently tugging on my arm, Nettie tried to distract me from the growing rage inside. "Don't fight."

"Another day, Sammy Hayes," I warned gently. "I will not be as patient with you."

"Anytime...savage." His smirk was malicious, but I let Nettie pull me away. We walked around where he stood, continuing toward the school. Tightly wrapped around my fingers, Nettie's hands were cold. I glanced at her.

"Were you frightened?"

"Yes," white breath fogged from her dusky lips. "I thought he was going to hit you."

"I have been hit before," I attempted to assure her. "But I hit back."

"Are you ever going to not want to fight?"

"Perhaps, when the whites of this world no longer look at me and think...savage."

"And if they don't?" She paused, turning to look into my eyes. "What are you going to do then?"

"I don't know." Heaving a long breath of white mist, I looked around the snow covered landscape. "Try to learn the patience of my people, as well as their courage."

"I will help you, if you want."

"Really? Even though I want to leave?" Surprised, I glanced at her. Nettie just smiled, shaking her head in wonder at my amazement.

"Sure. Ain't that what friends are for? I want you to be happy Jaynie, no matter where you live."

"I suppose as long as we are friends, I will always have at least one reason to be happy."

"Always." She beamed at me, bumping my shoulder with hers as we started on. "We'll always be friends, remember?"

Reaching the school, we found Miss Hazel outside, ushering the children inside. The snow and the brief encounter with Sammy had made us late. Hand in hand, we raced into the yard, making it to the end of the line in time to march up the steps behind the others. Miss Hazel shook her head slightly.

"Nearly late," she admonished with an amused expression. "You girls need to plan your timing more carefully."

"Yes ma'am." We said it in unison, slipping into our seats at the back of the class. The day was full of boring things, tiresome learning of white man's knowledge, with letters and numbers. I found I was actually interested in the geography part, and the spirited discussion about animal behavior. Curiously, the one event I expected to happen never did. Sammy Hayes did not come to school that day.

It bothered me, so walking home with Nettie I paused at where we'd met him, looking around. The snow had been disturbed by passing wagons and a myriad of footprints, so I could not see where he'd gone. Nettie realized my intention without asking.

"What you think happened to him, Jaynie?"

"I do not know...but, it's strange."

"Him not showin' up at school?" She shook her head. "Mayhap he went home, or just skipped out. He never does pay much attention to Miss Hazel."

"Yes...I suppose it would be bad to think him kidnapped?"

"Jaynie-!" her chocolate brown eyes flared wide at my suggestion, and I giggled at her.

"I did not mean that, well, not really."

"You are bad!" Covering her mouth, she tried to hide her smile. "It ain't a joke to talk like that!"

"Then why are you laughing?" I chided her, turning my features stiff. Mimicking my mother's tone, I wagged a finger at her. "It is not funny Nettie Sadler."

"You started it!"

"Did I? I don't believe you can prove that."

"You could get into so much trouble..." her amused warning faded away as we resumed walking. At the fork where she turned for home, Nettie suddenly grabbed my hand, holding it tightly.

"You mean what you said this morning, Jaynie, about us always bein' friends?"

"Of course," startled at her intense emotion, I looked into her eyes. "No matter what happens, or where I am, we will always be friends."

"An' if I need you, you'll come, no matter what?"

"No matter what," I assured her. "Even if I am at the other end of this vast country, I will come."

"You won't forget me?"

"Nettie, how could I ever forget about you? You are my first friend."

She hugged me tightly before running for home. Staring after her I felt a smile tug at my lips. Nettie Sadler...she was such a tender, gentle creature. With her cheerful, forgiving nature it was easy for me to forget she likely had as much trouble with the whites in town as I did. Frank had explained about slavery to me, and the war that had raged across the country where countless men had died fighting to either keep them, or set them free.

Shuffling my boots in the snow, piling it up into calf high drifts, I headed home. Topping the knoll overlooking our yard, I was surprised to nearly run into Frank. He was carrying his rifle.

"There you are!" Kneeling, he grabbed me tight, relief obvious in his expression. "What took you girl?!"

"What do you mean?" His grip was firm and I wiggled free.

"You drag your feet comin' home?" he countered, staring hard. "Where you been?"

"Talking to Nettie," the feeling that something bad had happened began to creep over my shoulders and down my arms, raising the flesh. "We were walking slowly, talking."

"Butterfly," Sliding an arm around my shoulders, he pulled me into a deep hug that smelled of coffee and wood smoke. "I'm just glad you're home and safe."

"Why wouldn't I be, father? What happened?"

"Angus Hayes came by earlier- Jaynie?" His gray eyes sharpened, for my expression must have betrayed something. His use of my white name told me this was serious, very serious.

"Angus Hayes...Sammy's father? Is Sammy alright?"

"Now, I'm a mite curious on why you'd ask after him. You know somethin' you're not tellin' me?"

"What can I know? He wasn't at school today."

"He's a lucky boy, Butterfly. He fought off being dragged away by an Indian, a young bu-" at the look on my face he chose another word. "A brave."

"An Indian? In this weather?" My doubt was clear. "My people stay to our lodges and fires during the winter, Frank Colter. What interest would a small white boy hold?"

"So you don't have anything to add to it? You don't know anything more?"

"How could I? I was at school all day!"

"Sammy...he claims you threatened him this morning. He says you put that brave onto him."

"What-!" I felt myself stiffen as a cold jolt of surprise rippled through me, followed by white hot anger. "He's lying!"

"On which part? You see him this morning Butterfly?"

"Yes. He was going to hurt Nettie, and I stood up for her. I would have beaten him, but Nettie asked me not to. He was standing like a useless tree stump on the path when we left."

"That's all?"

"What do you want me to say? He's a whining coyote pup with no courage! I hate him!" Exploding in anger, I pushed around him. Frank took one long step, catching my shoulder in his hand.

"Angus came around, warning all the neighbors about a rogue Indian attacking our children. Now everyone's frightened and angry, ready to shoot first and ask later! What happened to Sammy is serious, Butterfly, it's not a joke, it's not trivial. This Indian boy, this friend of yours...you seen him around?"

"Wind Runner?" I was suddenly so angry I couldn't think straight. "Oh of course! A boy claims to have been attacked by an Indian, and suddenly we are all savage! Suddenly we are all to blame! You cannot think he had anything to do with this? Why would he? What is Sammy Hayes to a man of my people?"

"I don't want you seeing him anymore Kimimela. It's not safe-"

"You cannot stop me!" Hurling the words like stones, I tore free and sprinted for home, ignoring his call behind me.