Modern Traveler
Author: MightyDick
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Synopsis
What if you have power that decides the faith of the world?
Neo is not your typical boy. he was super handsome but still a virgin. Can you believe that? It's like having powers but don't know how to use
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(The cover is not mine. If you want me to remove just msg me ty)
The early chapters are kinda rush. Will try to edit it
Wish-fulfillment and first-time writing. And English is not my 1st language, so bear with me
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hello. 4 years start reading all kinds of fanfic. and this is my 1st try to write. hope you like it 🫡
I'm gonna say that your story is good, believe me, I read a lot this is my third account already. Everything is fast paced and all I can say is just add some additional context to the story, it doesn't hurt to get from other sources as inspiration just don't go crazy by copy-pasting them or paraphrasing it, and I DO want you to continue this story, all I can say is rework some parts that in "YOUR' opinion/perspective needs arranging and add some additional context to the story so the readers will have the idea that the romance isn't forced if it is give some additional context on the "WHY" like flashback and the combat is just one-shotting, that is all I can say, good story hope it didn't lessen your confidence/self-esteem to write, Goodluck and I support you Author!<33
Look, I read up to chapter 7 and after that I stopped. The real concern in this story is that it is very rushed. In less than 5 episodes, his family changes personality out of nowhere after finding out that the MC is rich. The story is a bit confusing at first. I thought it would be based more on real life with artists, singers, etc., but then it goes into the world of fiction. It's a bit strange, but the idea is original. The idea is that in chapter 6, Mandison (the singer) has already fallen into the MC's arms. The script seems a bit forced (it was even a bit embarrassing to read), after all, he only ended up receiving the super soldier serum and the Garp model and the cryptos, nothing that indicated that he was a charming man to fall under his charms in 1 day. And lastly, and not being very sure, a small plot hole about where that 20 points came from when purchasing the driving technique, after all, he didn't do any mission to get it. So based on everything I wrote, I strongly recommend that you re-edit your book.