You will follow Eloise's story which is full of pitfalls and love and you will see how she will succeed in either realising her dream of doing good or becoming a master of evil. the character on the cover does not belong to me. In rewriting
Please read the author to the end. This is my private opinion
According to the 2 chapters I have read, I will say my impression - The idea is not bad, the execution is bad.
I would call what you put out raw materials.
What needs to be fixed:
1) We need more descriptions of the environment, characters.
2) Events are happening too fast.
3) In some moments, the characters have no emotions, it feels like robots are talking
4) we (readers) should learn information about the world not from the author's explanations, but it should be presented as an interaction between the characters
Before I started reading your novel, I read another novel, if you just compare it on a ten-point scale, then yours is 2 (and then purely for the idea), and the one I read before is 10
Author, I hope that you will accept my criticism and become better, because as I understand it, this is your first work
3 years ago
1
Lili_Pedro
I think that the story is verry good i can't wait to see the next chapter and my favorite character is the grabdma she is so funny when she is here i love here so much so continue please
3 years ago
1
Haruka_Michiru
Reveal Spoiler
9 months ago
0
Iluvyuri_444
Ohhhh I love this it's twisting my emotions like it's nothing, especially nearing the latest chapter l don't even know anymore..I just want to update PLEASE!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭
Nice its verry good i love it so please do more chapter because i can't wait to read your story [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
I like this alot the story is just super good[img=update][img=recommend][img=fp][img=update][img=recommend][img=fp][img=update][img=exp][img=recommend][img=exp][img=fp][img=exp][img=update][img=exp][img=recommend][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=exp]
3 years ago
0
Mimi_poeee
Its verra good i like it [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
Please read the author to the end. This is my private opinion According to the 2 chapters I have read, I will say my impression - The idea is not bad, the execution is bad. I would call what you put out raw materials. What needs to be fixed: 1) We need more descriptions of the environment, characters. 2) Events are happening too fast. 3) In some moments, the characters have no emotions, it feels like robots are talking 4) we (readers) should learn information about the world not from the author's explanations, but it should be presented as an interaction between the characters Before I started reading your novel, I read another novel, if you just compare it on a ten-point scale, then yours is 2 (and then purely for the idea), and the one I read before is 10 Author, I hope that you will accept my criticism and become better, because as I understand it, this is your first work
I think that the story is verry good i can't wait to see the next chapter and my favorite character is the grabdma she is so funny when she is here i love here so much so continue please
Reveal Spoiler
Ohhhh I love this it's twisting my emotions like it's nothing, especially nearing the latest chapter l don't even know anymore..I just want to update PLEASE!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭
[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
It's good i like it i really love Jade she is my favorite character hpe to have a new chapter soon[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
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Nice its verry good i love it so please do more chapter because i can't wait to read your story [img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
[img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
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🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
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I like this alot the story is just super good[img=update][img=recommend][img=fp][img=update][img=recommend][img=fp][img=update][img=exp][img=recommend][img=exp][img=fp][img=exp][img=update][img=exp][img=recommend][img=faceslap][img=fp][img=exp]
Its verra good i like it [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]
[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]🙉🙉🙉🙉🙉[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]