Underwraps
In a world where magic is based on parlor tricks and illusion. Mystical creatures such as witches, mermaids, dragons, fairies, ect… are all depicted in novels or acted out on the tv screen. None of them are real. Any phenomenon can be proven by science and experimentation, so of course the sudden appearance of vampires being born was also classified as a myth for future generations. By denying their existence by masking the enormous amount of deaths as a natural disaster became a part of history to avoid any future worldwide panic.
Of course, just because they were forgotten or misrepresented does not mean they would willingly remain obedient staying hidden in the shadows. The killing did not stop just the number of kills decreased. A few hundred thousand years into the future Amethyst founds herself being roommates with a pair of “vampires” from the old myths in history.
How will this high school fantasy nerd cope with her new blood sucking roommates?
Will she be able to live out a fairytale romance or will it be a living nightmare?
The author describes the characters very well! I like the story's premise with the vampires and how it came to be. It's very interesting to read fiction novels with unique story background. There are some misspelled words ( i.e. Chapter 4 - change 'cleaver' to 'clever' ) I'm still not sure if that was intentional or wordplay due to the next words. There are some faulty usage of tenses in some chapters. Don't worry though! The thought you want your audience to perceive is still there! I like it that this novel is very descriptive with what's going on in your story. However, you need to advance the scenes at a normal pace. Try not to excessively describe one scene. It's better to be descriptive while showing fast progress in order to keep your audience alive and expecting! Your story concept is actually perfect for those teases, which I'm looking forward to! This book has a great world background and superb descriptive style ( which I'm actually envious and I learned a lot from reading your book! ) P.S: It is up to you if you want to tone down your descriptive style. I really like that honestly, it makes the novel more immersive. However, for some, it isn't just their cup of tea so you have to meet halfway!
I like this one as well, I don't usually like vampires stories but this one is interesting. I like your writing style,I love descriptive style; gives more life to the story. Some errors can be easily fixed by more editing but overall readable. Great work author.
While it's too early to say how the story will go, it was indeed off to a good start. More vampires and romance! (Looks like the two terms will stay synonymous with each other.) The interactions with the characters are quite interesting so far. There are a couple of grammar errors (I pointed out general ones in the chp 1 comments that seem apparent throughout the first five chapters), but the writing flows well and you can understand what is going on easily. Keep it up author! >3</
Really great start! I can definitely see this becoming popular with Vampire fans! And the way you logically described their coming into existence through blood disorders was unique! The characters are well done for this early on. You also write pretty well; although, there are some grammatical errors such as ‘attack’ should be attacked, ‘to many’ is too many, and ‘of.’ is ‘off.’ I especially liked the phrase, an unpolished gem that refused to shine. This gives great personality as well as a sense of visual appearance! I don’t think you’ll run in this problem considering you skipped the first school day scenes, but as caution for plot progression, be light on describing mundane school activities. I’m just adding this in since I’ve read stories where it gets tied up too much in all the school stuff rather than the bigger plot, which in your case is the vampire conflict.