Jacaranda, Please Fall on Me (HAITUS)
Eos Monciaux, the Fairy of Monciaux Dukedom was renowned for her beauty which was akin to a fairy. Growing up as a noble, Eos, was a sheltered girl. After her family was framed for treason against the royal family. Forced to run from the dangers that would claim her life. Rescued by people who have magical ties to another realm as they whisk her away to renew her identity.
As she returns back to the world that she ran away from previously with none of her memories. She seeks refuge in the Forest of Illusion, Eos, discovers a whole new world that she never knew of. As she adjusts to the new environment and makes it as liveable for herself. Seven little figures came running to her seeking aid.
“Big Sister! The bad knight is trying to catch us!” The Twin quickly rushed behind Eos, clutching at the hem of her dress.
“Bad Knight is scary…” The littlest of them nuzzled at the crook of Eos’s neck scared of the terrifying knight who had a stern expression. Eos tried to chase away the knight to only having to live in cohabitation with him
Hello author, first, I want to say that I loved your detailed descriptions; it helped me feel more immersed in the story. I can tell it’s a gem in the works :) Although, I would like to put forward a suggestion; if you don’t mind, could you perhaps shorten the paragraphs more? I quickly perused ahead and noticed the paragraphs were consistently on the thicker side. It is quite hard to read when there are multiple layers of words stacked on top of each other. I think other readers likely would appreciate this too, and newcomers may be easily more hooked if they were shorter. Maybe an average of 2-3 sentences each paragraph would be great! This is just a suggestion, please do what you personally decide is best! Thanks again for creating this story! V◕ฺω◕ฺV