Dragon Ball: Altered Time (Finished)

Good beginning and good potential, but felt rushed and character development degenerated. I felt like you just kept on adding overpowered abilities and switching worlds for 'story progression', which wouldn't have been wrong if you brought out each franchise to it's full ability. For example: A goku with a LSSJ Broly bloodline is awesome, but your very regular GACHA lottery and instant mastery meant Goku couldn't train to master the forms and to gain experience against similar level enemies. Bringing in Naruto abilities was redundant with Super Saiyan transformations unless your character creates his ownversion of sage mode via spirit energy (from the spirit ball techniques), and so on. Your effort at bringing the other Z-fighters up a power-level tier via Copy&Paste is admirable but ruined the story, when you could have improved their character development to do the same. Improving the romantic development between the MC and his women is optional, but for two strong-willed women to consent to polygamy without furthering their character development made the story more of a 'fancy'. Switching to TDG world was redundant with different energy systems and with saiyans already having their hereditary 'great ape spirit'. The TDG power gained was unnecessary for a saiyan and may have even weakened them. Instead, it made the story plot uncertain and undecided. The Dragon Ball plotline up to Super felt as an afterthought between all the world-switching. Overall, it has great ideas, but constant new OP abilities with a lack of character development and a direction for the plot ruined your MC's martial way.

It started pretty good, but it did go down so fast, I mean come on mate, you're practically totally destroyed the balance of your OC. You are practically merging all strong species out there, and come on man, power lever x 24000? are you for real? You are practically insulting the original franchise. I mean yeah, it's your fanfiction, but at least make it in the limits of the universe the story is playing in.

Perfect, i like your fanfiction the story really well written release are consistent, i don't know what else to say other that this must be read ! Keep up the work i'm looking forward how it continues

Reveal Spoiler

The story is good but when you begin give other bloodline it ruined everything.....but other than that everything good...........................................................

Basically mc repeat the plot but gave abilities and species to all the z fighters...Krilin became a sayajin the mc think it's good to give his bloodline to a human? It's okay to give them skills but change the bloodline of people like that it's bullshit

"....Goku had just opened his eyes and saw a rough looking person somewhat handsome but also animalistic it was Yamcha the one who got killed by a Saibamen, Goku recently found out about his ability to copy and paste others abilities bloodlines etc Yamcha was the perfect target, he wanted to see if he gave him Instant Mastery how powerful he would become....." thank you, I'll drop it after that

Was fantastic up til you sent to DxD tbh. Thanks for the reading experience my dude. Hope you write another story because when you get going you have good sauce in your food. 👌

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You'll love this book if ur a dragon ball fan and the author is pretty open to opinions so yeah enjoy this novel and if u have any tips or ideas for this book write it in the comments the author is a Open Guy/Girl.

Even though the paste ability was annoying you fixed it I thank you for that and overall it’s a decent read for a fanfic that is, I like that your making your own forms what not I hope you don’t stay bound to cannon

Reveal Spoiler

This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time thanks the writing style is perfect the gammer is great the word placement is beautiful I can see you put a lot of work in this and I appreciate it good job