Your not going to ruin this by turning this into a harem where every chapter is a R-18 chapter, right? Your going to follow the plot without adding any unnecessary romance or something that would make us dislike your character, right? There's nothing wrong with your character but not a lot of authors take the time to develop a personality for their character
A normal highschool experience sounds great, rather than becoming overpowered right off the bat you can take the time to get to know the rest of the characters and explore the world of remnant without adding anything complicated, and if you approach everything realistically it would make this story feel less exaggerated and cringeworthy
4 years ago
47
nutt
Reveal Spoiler
4 years ago
21
B0ssu
Don't let the title and premise of this story fool you. The author took a good idea, gave it a promising start, and ran it into the ground.
The grammar is poor, which would have been excusable had the rest of the story been enjoyable. Unfortunately, it isn't. As is usual for the author, the MC is an idiot who runs on plot contrivances and an OP system instead of being a relatable character. His decisions (and the plot, for that matter), such as they are, aren't motivated by sense or consistent with past characterization, but whatever scene the author feels like writing at the time and whatever character the author wants to dickride or bash, as the case may be. Worldbuilding is minimal, and the frequent POV switches are not only jarring but also unnecessary, seeing as how OOC those other POVs are.
The "hook" of this story, the Jojo system, was also poorly executed. The author wavers between making it OP, and then nerfing his own modifications. Ignoring how canon Stands would have worked in favor of a lighthearted wish fulfillment romp through the setting would have been understandable, if the author didn't make arbitrary nerfs and ignored certain Stands already drawn by the MC. Either make it a roflstomp or restrict the MC to one canon-consistent Stand; the author is nowhere near a good enough writer to figure out a balance between the two.
Updating stability isn't much to write home about either. After an initial burst of activity, updating speed on this story has petered out, as the author focuses on other stories which are more or less minor variations of the same type of story. If you've read one of his stories, you've read them all, and nothing of value will be lost if you skip this one.
4 years ago
9
SpiralCat
This is a good story, i recommend it to you who are looking for something good to read. The grammar is not that bad, i hope you found my review helpful.
4 years ago
9
bigpollo
Cool premise and abilities...
The grammar though is killer... I cringe every couple of words and can’t find and solace in this...
Sorry boss, hope this gets better
4 years ago
2
dragonic_kat
Lots of typos and grammar mistakes, however very small amount of spelling mistakes. Very detailed descriptions of what things look like. If you want to avoid not being driven mad by the grammar so you can keep enjoying the amazing story details then I would suggest using the audio thing. Easy to ignore bad grammar when it’s being read to you by a monotone robot voice. A majority of the grammar mistakes are missing words in a sentence or repeating words. And I personally only repeatedly type the same thing when tired so I hope the author is getting proper sleep.
3 years ago
1
NightmareV3
As much i love the story. idk if this is on drop or in haitus..but please i beg you resume the story. because i am enjoying it after reading it repeatedly
3 years ago
1
AnotherAtlas
This thing has quite a few problems.
1 The grammar is pretty terrible. A lot of mistakes, sometimes hard to understand. 2 He gets way too much stuff from his system. Makes the stands seem like cheap stuff. 3 The dialogue between characters is terrible. Lots of blabbering. Every character talks like a person using english from their school books - unnaturally, unlike a real person.
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
4 years ago
1
The_Bored_Immortal
Well...the plot is great not the best but still great, the main problem I have with the book is the grammar. It's bad almost Chinese novel translated by Google kind of bad.
4 years ago
1
R3D
I think the premise overall is good I like the gaccha concept while mixing it with Jojo and RWBY but the fact that the MC can choose which parts/season to roll from is a little bit short-sighted by chapter 4 he probably could have had at least a few of the strongest stands half leveled or more with "luck"
Which kind of eliminates the whole gaccha process and spirit
And I truly hope this comes off as constructive criticism I mean it if you selectively remove that aspect I think the book would be better and that's from someone who's not a fan of Jojo
Chapter end~ haha
4 years ago
1
CookieFighter
this is a good story to pass time, a slighty op mc but quite good overall
.
4 years ago
1
AbsoluteLoli_Lover
Bad history [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]
Your not going to ruin this by turning this into a harem where every chapter is a R-18 chapter, right? Your going to follow the plot without adding any unnecessary romance or something that would make us dislike your character, right? There's nothing wrong with your character but not a lot of authors take the time to develop a personality for their character A normal highschool experience sounds great, rather than becoming overpowered right off the bat you can take the time to get to know the rest of the characters and explore the world of remnant without adding anything complicated, and if you approach everything realistically it would make this story feel less exaggerated and cringeworthy
Reveal Spoiler
Don't let the title and premise of this story fool you. The author took a good idea, gave it a promising start, and ran it into the ground. The grammar is poor, which would have been excusable had the rest of the story been enjoyable. Unfortunately, it isn't. As is usual for the author, the MC is an idiot who runs on plot contrivances and an OP system instead of being a relatable character. His decisions (and the plot, for that matter), such as they are, aren't motivated by sense or consistent with past characterization, but whatever scene the author feels like writing at the time and whatever character the author wants to dickride or bash, as the case may be. Worldbuilding is minimal, and the frequent POV switches are not only jarring but also unnecessary, seeing as how OOC those other POVs are. The "hook" of this story, the Jojo system, was also poorly executed. The author wavers between making it OP, and then nerfing his own modifications. Ignoring how canon Stands would have worked in favor of a lighthearted wish fulfillment romp through the setting would have been understandable, if the author didn't make arbitrary nerfs and ignored certain Stands already drawn by the MC. Either make it a roflstomp or restrict the MC to one canon-consistent Stand; the author is nowhere near a good enough writer to figure out a balance between the two. Updating stability isn't much to write home about either. After an initial burst of activity, updating speed on this story has petered out, as the author focuses on other stories which are more or less minor variations of the same type of story. If you've read one of his stories, you've read them all, and nothing of value will be lost if you skip this one.
This is a good story, i recommend it to you who are looking for something good to read. The grammar is not that bad, i hope you found my review helpful.
Cool premise and abilities... The grammar though is killer... I cringe every couple of words and can’t find and solace in this... Sorry boss, hope this gets better
Lots of typos and grammar mistakes, however very small amount of spelling mistakes. Very detailed descriptions of what things look like. If you want to avoid not being driven mad by the grammar so you can keep enjoying the amazing story details then I would suggest using the audio thing. Easy to ignore bad grammar when it’s being read to you by a monotone robot voice. A majority of the grammar mistakes are missing words in a sentence or repeating words. And I personally only repeatedly type the same thing when tired so I hope the author is getting proper sleep.
As much i love the story. idk if this is on drop or in haitus..but please i beg you resume the story. because i am enjoying it after reading it repeatedly
This thing has quite a few problems. 1 The grammar is pretty terrible. A lot of mistakes, sometimes hard to understand. 2 He gets way too much stuff from his system. Makes the stands seem like cheap stuff. 3 The dialogue between characters is terrible. Lots of blabbering. Every character talks like a person using english from their school books - unnaturally, unlike a real person.
Update please ....................................................................................................................................
Good.............................................................................................................................................
more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more
Well...the plot is great not the best but still great, the main problem I have with the book is the grammar. It's bad almost Chinese novel translated by Google kind of bad.
I think the premise overall is good I like the gaccha concept while mixing it with Jojo and RWBY but the fact that the MC can choose which parts/season to roll from is a little bit short-sighted by chapter 4 he probably could have had at least a few of the strongest stands half leveled or more with "luck" Which kind of eliminates the whole gaccha process and spirit And I truly hope this comes off as constructive criticism I mean it if you selectively remove that aspect I think the book would be better and that's from someone who's not a fan of Jojo Chapter end~ haha
this is a good story to pass time, a slighty op mc but quite good overall .
Bad history [img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap][img=faceslap]