Shining Duos

As I wish to deliver on the request of being entirely brutally honest, I must say that this review may appear rather negative. I focused mainly on what - in my best opinion- has the most need or potential for improvement (in the hope to help you progress rather than simply sing you praise). The very start of your story has the potential to be immersive, but fails to grasp my attention. I think this is due to the fact that there is an absence of rhythm in your writing, something I noticed as well further throughout the rest of your work. The characters feel sympathetic but I fail to imagine them. They appear to be cut out of cardboard and don’t feel like actual people. You have given me some idea on how they look but I would like to know more about the way they stand, their posture, their bearing. I want to see more personality. Give me some originality. Give me some flaws! Dimples, scars, dry lips. Do they pick their nails? Play with their sleeves? Show me peculiar character details. Any particular violence, abruptness or charm in the way they move? A particular way they move their eyebrows? Do they make exaggerated hand motions when they talk? Nonchalant scratching? Do they look away at some points during discussions? Do their smiles reach their eyes? As your reader, these things tell me a lot more about the characters than the colour of their hair. I wish for texture, intensity and sensation. The dialogue is fairly woody; it sounds forced and not quite genuine. As for the romance; it is a bit entertaining, but it does not thoroughly convince me and the ‘chemistry’ seems obligatory. I am not especially rooting for the relationship, although as a reader I need to get a secondhand infatuation with the love interest. The overall quality of your grammar is rather poor, but not as poor as other works on webnovel. I do appreciate that you clearly put a lot of effort in your work. I applaud your enthusiasm and sincerely hope that my harshness did not dissuade you from continuing.

The story is written well, the characters are unique and original and you can easily see the effort the author put into this novel. I highly recommend giving this novel a try!

Overall interesting story line, the characters are well described, and the world background is put together in an interesting way. The updates seem to be rolling in, which is great! The only thing I noticed is that there are a few issues with grammar, the one that stood out is subject verb agreement. There are cases when the subject is singular and the verb is plural. This is pretty small though, and doesn't cause interruptions in the reading experience.

Extremely interesting characters, abilities, and story! Very different from any other "magic" I've seen in a story before. I'm interested in seeing where the story goes. Definitely will be sharing this one with some friends 😁

The writing style of the novel captured my attention the most, and although the plotline was not exactly my cup of tea, there might be others who will be liking it, so I would not be judging on that! Any way, keep up with the good work!

This story is extremely good at throwing you into a fantastical Fantasy world. Really thrilling for those who like to be emersed, the world-building, magic system and characters are all spot on!

The plot and characters are well developed.The storytelling is also very interesting,it captures your attention as soon as you start reading it.

It's a really great book even though it still has room for improvement the author makes up for it with effort. It's impressive seeing an author who builds up more than one Mc in a book. Good luck and keep it up. Grimfire out...

Well first off this book might not be for people looking for a lot of story development because the book is only really starting as of when i am writing my review, But the book dose have a more laid back feel to it which almost all cultivation books don't really have with all the drama going on, Its laid back in the way that the MC's is not some fish turn dragon with some treasure they just happened to find but are strong from the start for people there age as well as having a pretty big backing, But before you go thinking that they get handed everything you would be right and wrong, Right in the fact that they would be if the MC's were in there own realm but wrong in that they aren't but are adventuring to gain experience trough missions given by a guild that has rules where you can't have people protecting you or people a lot stronger then the rest of the team. The book also had little character development so far besides becoming stronger but is fixed a bit in the chapter as of when i am writing this so it might be a little stale early on. But with all that said the book has a lot of potential and would recommend reading if your sick of the over dramatic part of most cultivation books but still like the cultivation theme.

Okay, while I really suck at making reviews, I do wish however that this would be an authentic one. For me, the characters are very fun to be with!!! The development is somewhere between immersive and thrilling. The writing style, of course, I find to be very comprehensible. Which overall for me, would rate 5.0 and more if the rating scale is a bit higher! Oh and don't take my simple words for it. Why don't you try the first 10 chapters and see to it that there's more than what I'm telling here! And magically, you'll never know that you had been reading all throughout chapter 60 and more (which happened to me). So here's a little summary... Characters brimming with potential? Check! An immersive plot as the story goes by? Check! Hard Magical System? Check! Writing quality is high? Check! That sums about it!!! God bless author-san!

So, I was browsing and I came across this gem out of nowhere. And while it may not be perfect, it's way better than most of the original novels here. It's interesting and I read it all in one sitting. Give it a chance, I'm sure it won't disappoint.

I definitely think you could improve in some areas. As said in other reviews, the grammar is quite poor but you can't be blamed for this as this site isn't exactly made for English stories, rather translations and for people who are attempting to start grasping the English language, which is difficult, mind you! I do love the idea of the story, I really do, so keep up with that! Character design is a little bland but I feel if that can be improved in later chapters and or by adding in some more descriptions in earlier chapters, say if you were to go back and review them. Overall, 3/5! This isn't bad at all! Really good start, and I'm excited to see where this'll go! Let me know if you'd like me to go through the first 10 chapters, for instance, and give them a pass-over to make the style better fit for English readers! Free of charge, of course!

You thought it was a normal review, but no. It was me, DIO!

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